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Topics: Rugby, Sport

Friday, 4 November 2005

image for "Bogeys" to feature as Olympic sport in 2012
The 2-headed Dickanddommonster

The IOC today announced its decision to grant Olympic status to the game of "bogeys" - made famous by the BBC's very own cheeky chappies, Dick and Dom. With rugby union snubbed by officials yet again the news has caught many British Olympic Committee members off-guard, not least gold medallist and British bid leader, Lord Coe.


"I'm delighted by this news," said the surprised former Olympic athletics champion, "although it's a bit of a shock! I've enjoyed many games of "bogeys" in my time so it'll be great to see some true professionals showing us how it should really be done at London 2012."

Despite London having some really quite lovely areas such as Kensington, Chelsea and Belgravia, the 2012 Olympics will be held in the cesspit of Stratford - a crime-ridden area situated in a grotty part of the British capital known as the ‘east end'. Stratford famously beat a small backwater called ‘Paris' in the final vote to hold the games - largely thanks to a few tactful comments from French fool Jacques Chirac who had strangely decided not to support his own country's bid.

The game of "bogeys" has enjoyed a recent upsurge in popularity - largely due to early Saturday morning show "In Da Bungalow" featuring Ant and Dec impersonators Dick and Dom. The game involves two players who, once in a very public place, bravely take turns to say the word "bogeys". Each player must in turn say the word louder than the other until eventually the loudest player wins.

"It's such a simple game," said a delighted Dom, "which means simple people, like me and Dick, can play it. Every culture has a version of it - you just need to insert your own rude word." Asked if he and co-presenter Dick would be representing Great Britainshire in seven years time, Dom replied: "Well we'll both be in our thirties by then but I would never say never!"

The race is now on to find a suitable venue for the event, with the Palace of Wesminster a favourite. "We're holding archery at Lords so why not have "bogeys" in the House of Lords?" asked Lord Coe. "I've had many a good game of "bogeys" in the chamber myself, but Baroness Thatcher always beats me. She's got no shame that woman."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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