Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Sunday, 22 May 2011

image for Ronald Biggs takes out a Clapham Junction
knickers in a twist

Cockney football fans are using their artful bunny to give plod the one fingered salute.

The dodgy market boys are not having it after being told to "shut it and do one" by top beak Lord Judge.

As soon as Ronnie Biggs took out a Clapham Junction to cover his tracks, the cheeky linguists got their bonces together.

And the chirpy Londoners drew on the collective spirit of Dunkirk and Dick van Dyke to confound the authorities by twittering gibberish.

Leyton Orient fan and pork belly trader Billy Pikey summed up the mood down the rub a dub:

"Everyone knows the geezer has been sorting out the taffy Richard. He should just fess up, bung her a monkey and have it away"

Blitz survivor and Bingo caller Doris Slapper is also in defiant mood:

"We might not talk proper but we ain't stupid. If we had given in we would all be talking German now."

Leg's Eleven.

Know what I mean.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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