Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Saturday, 21 May 2011

image for Ian Holloway to defy Super Injunction gag
Sir Humphrey Nonce QC

With 'survival sunday' looming, all managers of Premiership clubs have been warned about the legal ramifications of anything they say.

QC Humphrey Nonce has backed a Super Injunction by an anonymous footballer forbidding any manager from using the word anonymous.

Lord Chief Nonce argues that if a player is criticised for being anonymous on the pitch, fans could assume said player is the one whose name can not be mentioned.

And it would be an infringement of their rights to privacy.

Blackpool manager Ian Holloway is the most likely candidate to put his foot in his mouth.

He has already been told off for saying none of his players have been 'at it':

"My lad's couldn't pull a donkey on a beach" joked the Seasider's boss.

Humphrey Nonce has enough on his plate with his own Super Injunction against Doris Slapper.

Miss Slapper claimed in a reliable tabloid that the Judge used to visit her in Littlehampton:

"He used to lie starkers, except for a pair of fishnets, with his 'you know what' dangling in a bowl of cold custard.

Then I had to tap dance on his back in a pair of red stilettos"

Holloway has criticised the timing of Lord Nonce's ruling:

"This couldn't have come at a worse time.

"I am nervous enough about sharing a bottle of wine with Sir Alex after the game.

If I don't say the right thing about the bouquet I will get the hairdryer treatment"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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