Manchester United is shouldering big debts, as are a number of clubs in the league.
The players received the news today that they will be expected to moonlight in order to bring in more revenue for the club. They reacted with mixed emotions but not one of them wished to comply.
Rooney, on hearing the news, threw himself to the ground and began beating his fists yelling:
"I'm not doing it. You can't MAKE me! You're not the boss of me an' I'mm gonna tell me mam. An' I'm 'olding me breff till she gets 'ere."
The other players ignored him, as usual. Some merely hung their heads and others could be heard quietly sobbing.
Jobs suggested included, becoming servers (waiters), bartenders, dog-walkers or taking on paper routes.
None of the players are qualified or experienced in anything other than football.
The alternative, they have been told, is to disband the club altogether.
More as we get it.