Written by grimbo
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Wednesday, 18 May 2011

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The 8,000 mile route along which the Olympic Torch will be carried in the UK before making its way to London 2012 has been unveiled by Lord Coe, chairman of the organising committee.

The torch will travel for 70 days through all the major towns and cities in the country, including Bristol, Cardiff, Manchester, Glasgow and Liverpool.

Community leaders all around the country have welcomed the news and intend to make full use of the event - and the megabucks budget at the Olympics Committee's disposal - to champion the cause of regeneration in their areas.

An unnamed community leader from London stated that he and many of his colleagues from all over the country already had plans in place to ensure that a "couple of rogue sparks" would escape from the Torch as it passed through some of the more run down areas in their community, leading to a widespread inferno that would raze the deprived schemes to the ground.

Thus, in a matter of minutes, 50 years of urban deprivation, forgotten promises and failed council letting policies would literally go up in a puff of smoke.

The community groups would then apply to the London 2012 Insurance Fund for millions of pounds from the "Collateral Damage Section" and use the pay outs to regenerate the local economy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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