Arsene Wenger has his beady eye on Nancy FC defender Cedric Nincompoop. The Gunners manager is desperate to reinforce the spine of his team with some much needed Gallic muscle.
Hangdog Wenger has come out with guns blazing after criticism that his side have the backbone of a jellyfish.
"Cedric is a top man.He likes to dominate"
Arsenal scouts have been watching Nincompoop for some time.
Fans at the Emirates have already been singing his praises with a new song:
"they seek him here, they seek him there, they seek him every fucking where, Nincompoop Nincompoop"
Cedric is already a firm favourite at the Emirates after he was spotted coming out of Le Gavroche with an "Up the Arse" t shirt.
A spokesman has claimed that Nincompoop will prove to be even more popular with the diehard supporters than the other musketeers, Danish fop Nicolas Bender and ex porn star Manual Almunia.
Nincompoop is only 14 but will no doubt stiffen the Arsenal defence.