Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 15 May 2011

image for Chelsea COULD well win Premiership according to small print in EPL rules book
Man. U player forced to take a shower

Chelsea, it appears, COULD still win the Premiership, according to a little know rule in the EPL rules book.

Apparently, if a team fails to turn up for the game they forfeit 12 points. This could be the break Chelsea needs.

Although this has never happened in the history of the EPL, there is always a first time. For this reason the Man. U players have gone into hiding when not on the football field and have hired personal bodyguards until after the Big Day.

It is rumoured that Chelsea management have hired top class detectives to 'sniff' out the Man. U team, which shouldn't take long considering most of the players eat crushed garlic straight from the jar to keep them healthy and are rumoured to abstain from showering 14 days before any final.

A team of professional kidnappers is working closely with the detectives and have a master plan to 'nobble' the team when they are located. They have promised not to harm a hair on the heads of the players and are giving their services free as they are ALL Chelsea Fans, as are the detectives.

Time will tell if this plan will work.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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