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Saturday, 14 May 2011

image for Wayne Rooney Distraught As Chicharito Stubs His Toe In Ewood Celebrations
United's Keeper After Almost Keeping A Clean Sheet

Having just secured a record breaking 19th league title, Manchester United players were celebrating in front of the massed ranks of their fans in the Darwen End at Ewood Park, when disaster struck.

United secured the title-winning point they needed, thanks to a Wayne Rooney penalty after Chicharito was brought down in the box by the Blackburn keeper, thus securing the required 1-1 draw after a 20th minute half volley from Brett Emerton had given the home side the lead.

It wasn't a pulsating game, with only the odd dose of comic relief provided by Kuszczak, the United keeper giving a Tommy Cooper-esque performance between the sticks.

The biggest drama of the day came when United's Mexican striker, Chicharito stubbed his toe on a divot as the team celebrated.

"It was 'orrible," Wayne Rooney said. "Made me feel a bit sick, like when I seen it. Chicha stubbed his toe and I gorrall upset and that. I've seen a few toes stubbed in me time at the club, but never one this bad lar. I wanted to go and help the lad out, burra was just rooted to the spot because of the horrific nature of the toe-stub, like. Thankfully, Rio and Nemanja went to his aid, and he seems all right now."

A United spokesman said that there had been no lasting damage suffered by the plucky Mexican lad, and remarked that United's Brazilian midfielder, Anderson had put in a breathtaking performance.

"Anderson was stunning out there today. Possibly the best I've ever seen him. He didn't actually play, but he displayed more energy during the celebrations than he ever does when he's on the pitch."

So he was.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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