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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

image for Celtic Boss Neil Lennon Attacked By Mad Jambo
Hawkeye The Noo Ye Bass! Bollys And Stains!

Celtic boss Neil Lennon was maintaining a dignified silence tonight after being attacked in the technical area at Tynecastle during Celtic's 3-0 victory over Hearts by a mad Jambo.

As it stands, it isn't quite clear whether the attempted assault on the Celtic boss was not motivated by sectarianism, but it is thought that it probably is.

Neil Lennon has recently been sent letter bombs, and been subjected to death threats, so one can only imagine his horror this evening as a mad Jambo jumped the barrier and took a pop at him.

Fortunately for Mr Lennon, the mad Jambo was wearing a pair of crap trainers and slipped on his arse as he attempted to throw a punch.

The man was quickly subdued by Heart Of Midlothian security staff.

"He's been detained and will face criminal charges," a police spokesman said. "It seems the perpetrator of this incident has a moustache. Ye cannae expect much else from Jamboes wi' moustaches."

More moustache related mayhem as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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