Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

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Welsh groupies

Cardiff 'striker' John Thomas has threatened to sue The Sun over it's refusal to speculate on his sex life.

The diminutive Welsh scorer claims to have shagged hundreds of women, including three of his cousins.

"Unless I am named and shamed I will not be able to take out a super injunction".

Dubbed 'sex bomb' by his fans, the ginger 37 year old is still hoping to showcase his talents in the Premier League.

He has finally put allegations of the' sheep incident' firmly behind him and has now been given the all clear to resume training by the club zooologist.

His agent DaI Pikey has alerted the press and FIFA president Sepp Blatter about the situation.

John has yet to score this campaign but has made several assists.

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