Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 9 May 2011

image for King Kenny Wants His Perch Back
Carlo Ancelotti And Harry Redknapp Out Looking For The Perch This Moring

According to sources, 'King' Kenny Dalglish is privately furious that Manchester United are all set to overhaul Liverpool's tally of 18 League Titles, and has sent an angry text to Sir Alex Ferguson demanding his perch back.

Old Trafford insiders report that Sir Alex received the text message this morning whilst sitting in his office at United's Carrington training ground, enjoying a glass of cooking sherry.

"He just laughed his head off," one said. "He read the text, apparently congratulating Sir Alex on another title win, then going on to say that Kenny wanted his perch back. He just threw his head back and roared with laughter. I got a bit worried at one point because I thought he wasn't going to stop."

It appears to be the case that King Kenny is contemplating legal action against Sir Alex on the grounds that the perch is rightfully the property of himself and Liverpool Football Club. King Kenny claims that the perch has been registered with the Land Registry and that Sir Alex has no business sitting on it, let alone knocking him off it.

Whatever that means.

Some cynical observers insist that there is no actual perch, and that it is merely a metaphorical invention, coined by Sir Alex when he joined Manchester United in 1985.

Somewhat surprisingly, Arsenal boss, Arsene Wenger, chipped into the debate in order to categorically state:

"There is a perch. It is real. I have seen the perch. It is made of wood. I have seen zis with my own eyes. I have also been informed that Sir Alex knocked King Kenny off it, and then sat upon the perch himself. In my opinion it was a bad decision from Sir Alex to take over the perch. Somebody should look into it as a matter of urgency. It is all very wrong."

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 1?

7 16 23 6

Go to top