Written by Pariah
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Topics: kansas, mascot

Sunday, 8 May 2011

image for Kansas State Mascot Madness Campaign Backfires
Willie Wildcat Shocked By Student Response to Mascot Madness

Manhattan, Kansas - Kansas State University announced today that the ill-fated Mascot Madness Campaign will be ended after several incidents that have placed the institution in a bad public image.

"The campaign's purpose was to help build pride and camaraderie among the students and the community to show support for our various athletic programs," said a spokesman. "Nobody could have foreseen the results as they transpired."

During half-time of a game in Bramlage Coliseum, school mascot Willie Wildcat ran out on the court and started throwing t-shirts into the audience as a voice over the loudspeakers announced "Show Us Your Wille!", which was also the slogan imprinted on the shirts.

"We meant that people should start wearing their Willie Wildcat sportswear, to show off their team spirit. Apparently, too many folks had had a few too many drinks by half-time, and we found half of the male students exposing themselves in public," commented Coach Frank Martin.

Since that game, there have been several streakings on campus as well as a case of poetic graffiti on one of the buildings that read:

"Out upon the Konza Prairie,
I encountered something scary.
It was long, and it was hairy
It was part of my best friend Larry.

So I write with all my skill, see -
This neat poem that's such a dilly,
If you love the Wildcats, then be like me
Drop your pants and show your Willie!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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