Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 6 May 2011

image for Fergie Admits He Doesn't Have A Plan For Chelsea Showdown
Is That You Vanessa?

Manchester United boss, Sir Alex Ferguson admitted this morning that he has no battle plan ahead of Sunday's Old Trafford showdown with a resurgent Chelsea.

When questioned, the United boss simply said that he would select a team which he deemed capable of dealing with the possible threat of a Drogba and Torres combination strike force.

Many journalists believe that the Ivorean and the Spaniard are easily capable of giving the United centre backs, Ferdinand and Vidic, a torrid time.

"I've no time to worry about Drogba and Torres, or Anelka, or Lampard," Sir Alex told Skoob Sports News. "I did ponder John Terry's 'secret weapon' for a few minutes, but tae be honest with you, it's the prospect of Messi and Iniesta, and David Villa that have been causing me tae miss oot oan ma sleep lately. I've been having some strange auld dreams lately and waking up in a cold sweat. One of those dreams involved Josep Guardiola shelling Old Trafford from a Chieftain tank on Sir Matt Busby Way. But I'm no gettin' intae that because the FA or UEFA will probably ban me for a month or something."

Popular opinion suggests that United won't be making any special preparations for the Chelsea showdown, but that they will be in it to win it.

The Manchester rumour mill was buzzing today with rumours that Cheryl Cole, Vanessa Perroncel and Christine Bleakley have been invited to sit in the United director's box as guests of the club in order to provide a distraction to the Chelsea team.

Although this hasn't been confirmed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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