Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 4 May 2011

image for Cristiano Ronaldo Magnanimous In Defeat
Visca Barca!

Following Real Madrid's elimination from the Champions League at the hands of bitter rivals Barcelona, following a 0-2 in the Bernabeu and a 1-1 second leg at the Nou Camp, Real's Cristiano Ronaldo left sports reporters purring in a post match press conference.

Ronaldo accepted the defeat with a quiet dignity, doubtless instilled in the talismanic Portuguese by his fellow countryman, and club manager, Jose Mourinho.

"We wuz robbed," said Ronaldo, speaking in Mexican. "It's just because nobody likes us, apart from our own supporters. We're a bit like Manchester United and Millwall in that respect - no one likes us, and we don't care."

Some observers felt that Ronaldo had a letter 'M' related point - Madrid, Manchester United, Millwall - although he didn't mention Macclesfield or Manchester City.

Ronaldo went on to comment that it was always going to be mission impossible for Madrid, as every official in the world, as well as Presidents, Prime Ministers, Popes, and even God himself were all Barca fans at heart.

"What can you do?" he said. In Mexican again.

Then he composed himself before punching a Coke machine repeatedly, and kicking a passing waitress up the bum.

Jose Mourinho, who had to watch the game from a Barcelona hotel room is alleged to have emptied the minibar before going out onto his balcony and abusing passers by on the street below.

A club insider related that Mourinho had commented to the effect that he hoped Manchester United would prevail against Schalke, and:

"Beat the crap out of those cheating Barcelona bastards in the final."

Barca boss, Pep Guardiola remained tight lipped, although obviously chuffed to bits as he tucked into his breakfast of 'pa amb tomaquette' and a 'lively' espresso.

Rumours circulating that Real madrid skipper Sergio Ramos dropped a silver teapot beneath the wheels of a dessert trolley later proved to have been unfounded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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