Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 29 April 2011

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Rooney off to do some hacking

Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has confirmed on social networking site Twitter, that he has been interviewed by police investigating the sensational News of the World phone-hacking scandal.

It's believed that Rooney has elected to say nothing until his lawyer has been contacted.

It's not known whether Rooney has, himself, been hacking into other people's phones, but he certainly does his fair share of hacking on the football pitch, particularly when tackling.

Testament to that was his cynical scything-down of Crawley Town player Kyle McFadzean in their recent FA Cup clash.

And the former Everton traitor is no stranger to other forms of hacking, as could be seen when he hacked his way into the knickers of sex worker grandma Patricia Tierney in Liverpool when he was just sweet 16 years old.

Tierney has since given up working in the sex industry, claiming one night with Rooney was enough to make anyone 'retire from the game'.

A spokesman for Greater Manchester police said:

"Our officers are interested in all forms of hacking, not just phone-hacking, but definitely not the hacking-into of that old bag's knickers. That's just sick."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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