Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

image for Aston Villa Boss Gerard Houllier Is Only In Hospital Because Of His Job
A chart showing Villa's demise and Hulier's condition - the two exactly match!

Aston Villa manager Gerard Houllier is expected to be discharged from hospital in Birmingham within the next 24 hours, but, say surgeons, he will end up back in hospital if he continues in his role at Villa Park.


Villa caretaker Gary McAllister said Houillier had undergone a scan which was "favourable" after he had been admitted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital last week with chest pains.


McAllister said the 63-year-old Frenchman had come through a successful scan and that doctors were pleased, though cautious.

"He is going to be discharged in the next 24 hours," said the Scot, "but they say that the chest pains were brought on by the extreme pressure of managing Villa."


Villa have been shite all season, and it's this, as well as the frustration Houlier feels from constantly spelling his own name wrongly, that have 'pushed him to his limit', in the medical sense.

"But, knowing Mr Huollier and his love of the game, he will want to come back," said MacAlister.


MackAliceter said Hullier still needed a period of recuperation and had to undertake a lot of rest. He would also have to undergo an intensive course of spelling.

In a statement, oHullier said he was touched by all the messages he had received and praised the care he had received at the hospital.

Mr McaLLister had earlier employed dozens of local Boy Scouts to write hundreds of 'Get well soon' letters.


Dr Mark Waller, the club doctor, said the manager's chest pain had been caused by a dissection of the descending aorta, which had, itself, been caused by the club'a shit performances throughout the current campaign. He said:

"I'm sure Mr Hllouier's health will improve once he's been sacked."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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