Leeds United Football Club (LUFC) have this morning announced plans to simply 'give up', in the face of the new and current police investigation into one of their players.
Peter Reid (Monkey Man), has been talking exclusively to TheSpoof:
"Leeds is a great place, and I love the club and the players. But those ****ing *a*****s are going to kill me or something, I swear!"
All Leeds' players will have their current contracts quashed and are available for immediate club transfer. Only Mark Viduka, Paul Robinson and Alan Smith are currently being sought...along with cages for their transport.