Written by Mr Goster
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Sunday, 24 April 2011

image for Saville Boost For Leeds Promotion Push
We Are Leeds

Great news for Leeds United fans tonight as Jimmy Saville signed an exclusive short term deal for his hometown club.

The club have stuttered recently in their bid to achieve a second successive promotion and have sealed the deal for Jimmy to fire them to Play-Off success.

Manager Simon Grayson explained. 'I've been a fan of Jimmy's since 1976 when he read my letter out on his show. The man is a genius, and because he runs Marathons every day is still as fit as a fiddle.

He's almost 80 years old, but over ten yards is as quick as anyone and is still a natural finisher. We've been missing a bit of experience and Jim can bring us that. He loves Leeds and we love him. It's a match made in Heaven, and just the boost we need.

He will be a vital player for us in the last few games, and even more important as we push in the Play-Offs. He's even designed the tracksuit the club will wear at Wembley for the finals, he's that confident. And that rubs off on everyone. The man's a legend.'

A delighted Saville said at the Press Conference today, 'How's about that then Guy's & Gals. I am the One & Only. Rattle of Jewellery.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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