Written by Ellie James
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Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Dallas Cowboy Stadium is Ready for Lock Out
Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, has been behind closed doors booking all sorts of events.

Dallas: With the NFL lock out looming in the near future, Jerry Jones is scrambling to book events to take place in Cowboy Stadium. In June, Cowboy Stadium will host the US Women's Open. This will be the first time they have had a bowling event in the stadium.

In addition to the bowling event, The Dallas Cowboys will host a wide array of other events. In May, the Boy Scouts of America will hold their Thumb Wrestling event. John Pope, who is the head of the joint Tarrant/Dallas County Boy Scouts Association said, "We're excited to have our event in the stadium. We have a lot of popcorn left to sell, and hopefully this event will let us sell our popcorn. True Jerry Jones wants a percentage of the popcorn sales, and we're still negotiating the finalities of the event, but the boys are really excited."

The other weekends of the summer will be filled with the Parker County Watermelon Seed Spitting contest, the Summer Slip N Slide Extravaganza, The International Alpine Yodeling Association's Yodeling Competition, and the Scottish Games.

Anus MacDonald, owner of Scottish Imports in Dallas and president of the Dallas County Great Scott Society is thrilled to have the Scottish Games. This will be the first time The Scottish Games will be in the area. MacDonald states that the games will have the normal Scottish events such as the Caber Toss, Stone put, and the hammer throw. When asked if he was going to participate, he said, "Aye."

Many famous Scotts will be in the area for the Scottish Games such as the guys from The Proclaimers, Sean Connery and Ewan McGregor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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