Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for "Who ya callin a £1,000 tramp, Balotelli??"
"A bit rough around the edges...but loose morals??"

Manchester - Canal Street's Premiership sluts are up in arms amid claims the Man City star doshed up a 'lonely tramp' with a £1,000 gambling bung.

The bemused bagman was spotted outside the 666 Casino fingering a hefty wedge given to him by the £100,000-a-week ex-Inter Milan striker.

Some casino patrons said today they reckon the vagrant 'was really an undercover red top reporter' on a name-and-shame Premiership coke snorting assignment.

"Sure the guy looked a bit rough around the edges," local blackjack player Rudi Nutzz commented.

"But slagging him off for dodgy morals? The guy's just doing his job."

Balotelli apparently won £25,000 in a game of five card stud during a night out with Blackburn Rovers' Chris Samba.

Last month the Sunday Smearer said the £24 million Italian singing got let off with a slap on the wrist 'for throwing poison-tipped blow darts' at Man City junior players during training.

"They made that up," Nutzz added, "not to be outdone by a rival red top's Ashley Cole air rifle shooting of an intern story."

Lionel Messi is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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