Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

image for Letter Sent To Celtic Boss Neil Lennon
"Letter for Mr Lennon!"

Police in Scotland are investigating an incident in which a letter was sent to the Celtic manager Neil Lennon.

The letter, which was intercepted in west Scotland, was full of the kinds of things that you wouldn't want to read about yourself, and very, very rude.

Mr Lennon was said to be "taken aback" after police informed him of its contents.

Police say that, due to the "extremely coarse nature" of the letter, it was being presumed that the sender was someone who wasn't particularly fond of Mr Lennon, and the former Northern Ireland international was advised that, if he were to receive any more nasty-looking letters, he should put them straight in the bin without bothering to open them. This, said a spokesman, would show the sender that he was wasting his time.

In January, Mr Lennon was the recipient of some bullets with his name on them, and prior to that, he claims to have received "thousands" of offers to borrow money from loan companies. He said:

"I've had absolutely loads of junk mail since I came to Scotland. It must be my postcode!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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