Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 18 April 2011

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Yes, yes, time's nearly up, I'm just waiting for Liverpool to score

Arsenal were cheated.

That's the opinion of thousands of Arsenal fans after yesterday's infuriating 1-1 draw with Liverpool at the Emirates, where both goals came during the period of added time at the end of the game.

Match referee Andre Marriner had earlier indicated that there would be 8 minutes of added time, and when Arsenal were awarded a penalty in the 8th minute itself, which van Persie converted, the game looked over.

However, and inexplicably, the official then allowed the clock to continue for a further 4 minutes (making 12 minutes of added time) until Liverpool were themselves handed a highly-dubious spot-kick, from which Dirk Kuyt levelled the scores.

Afterwards, Wenger bemoaned the amount of added time that the referee had allowed. He bemoaned:

"Ze ref is a twat. If, after 45 minutes of play, zere have been enough stoppages to warrant 8 minutes of added time, where, pray tell, during zose 8 minutes, did an extra 4 minutes come from? Zut alors!"

This afternoon, a spokesman for the Referees Association denied that Mr Marriner's watch had been supplied by Sir Alex Ferguson Timepieces Ltd.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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