Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 16 April 2011

image for Manchester City 1 Manchester United 0
Toure celebrates his goal in training yesterday

Oh, and everything's changed here at Wembley, with the Sky Blues of Manchester taking the lead after an unexpected gaffe by Michael Carrick just outside his own penalty area.

He lets a loose pass go just outside the box, and Yaya Toure picks up the ball, and with his gangling Ivorian masculinity dangling way beneath where his shorts finish, he charges past Nemanja Vidic into the United 18-yard area and slips home a wonderfully-cool finish. Sexy.

Sir Alex's men have it all to do now, and we all know how well City can defend. Roberto Mancini is an Italian for Christ's sake! What they don't know about defending, isn't worth knowing!

Here at Wembley Stadium, it's now

Manchester City 1 Melchester United 0

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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