Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 14 April 2011

image for Kobe Bryant's Anti-Gay Slur Costs Him $100,000 Plus Many Los Angeles Laker Fans Plan To Boycott The Laker Games
Kobe Bryant shown at the age of two with his nanny Wildflower Quibby of Colorado Springs, Colorado.

LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant, the master of "Ball Control" and now the master of the "Back Pedalers" is trying to do some self damage control after his homophobic rant.

During the game against the San Antonio Spurs when Bryant was given a 'Technical' he immediately went to the Lakers bench and pushed one of the bench players completely off the bench so that he could get the cushion that he was sitting on.

Kobe "The Colorado Kid" Bryant then threw the cushion onto the court almost causing it to hit fellow teammate Derek Fisher who luckily, since he only stands 5 foot 4 inches tall was able to duck and the wayward cushion ended up hitting Khloe Kardashian's hubby Lamar Odom.

Then Kobe for some unknown reason went up to Jack Nicholson and yelled in his face that he never did like his movies especially that silly ass One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Kobe asked Jack, what the hell "One" was anyway.

Nicholson shrugged his shoulders, scratched his groin region, and got up to go pee.

Kobe then returned to the bench and proceeded (to try) and take a bite out of the seat that Luke "The White Laker" Walton was sitting on. Walton quickly got up and ran as fast as he could and sat up in the stands.

At that point Coach Phil Jackson had seen enough. He called a time out and got on his cell phone and told Dr. Phil (no relation) to hurry up and get out to The Staples Center and see if he could somehow calm down Kobe "The Diva" Bryant.

After TNT which was telecasting the game had exhausted eight of their commercials they came back to the game.

And as the camera focused in on Kobe, who by now had totally lost it ala Charlie "Tiger Blood Boy" Sheen, he was shown pulling down his Lakers basketball shorts.

And it was then that he hollered out to referee Bennie Adams, who had called the "T" on him, and told him to kiss his (blank).

Kobe immediately followed that up by hollering at Bennie in front of thousands and thousands of fans that he had heard that Benny went to the Santa Monica Pier and rode a horse on the famed carousel sidesaddle.

It was then due to the fact that Bennie completely ignored him that "Little Boy" Bryant yelled out that Bennie was an eff*n fagg*t.

Those two little 'asteriskicized' words cost Bryant $100,000 and now a total of 24 gay and lesbians groups throughout the Los Angeles area and even including San Francisco, have said that they will ask their members to boycott the Laker games.

Kobe, in the interest of damage control spoke to the media and said that he was sorry and blamed it all on the fact that he was just PMSing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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