Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Abramovich to sell Chelsea if they lose to Man Utd!
Well at least this lonely Chelsea fan believes in the Abramovich miracle!

Roman Abramovich has promised to burn all his bridges across the Thames if Chelsea get the "blues" and are blown away by the awesome "Red Army" tonight in Manchester.

Roman has invested millions and wasted millions on his favourite toy and failed to come up with the most sought after prize in club football, The Champions League.

He even wasted 50 million "big uns" on a Spanish impotent called Torres (Liverpool laughed all the way to the bank) and he's been firing blanks ever since.

Roman also sacked "the Special One" and replaced him with very expensive "not so special one's" and has promised "tonight's the night"(Rod Stewart fans know what I mean and he's a Man U fan too) and if the Blues fail he will cut his losses and buy Leyton Orient (who?).

Sir Alex Ferguson has stated that Roman is so desperate to emulate his successes in Europe that he would even consider buying Lionel Messi's big toe.

Unfortunately he missed the boat on Messi, bought Torres (spend peanuts you get monkeys) and now has a final desperate chance to achieve his Holy Grail at Old Trafford.

Sir Alex has other plans and has mentioned the fact that he will be spying on Man U's final opponents when he goes to Spain to watch Real Madrid v Barcelona in the semi-final. (that's confidence or not?)

Roman, Leyton Orient awaits your billions, maybe this time you'll invest them more wisely, Rooney always wanted to play in London!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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