Written by grimbo
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Topics: Wayne Rooney

Saturday, 9 April 2011

image for Brand Rooney Gets A Boost

The Wayne Rooney roller coaster goes on.

In a week when he let loose a foul mouthed tirade at the cameras after completing a hat trick against West Ham that saw him receive a 2 match ban and lose a megabucks contract with Coke, the controversial Scouser's pockets are to be lined again with the news that Barlscerg Super Lager have signed him up for the next 10 years.

The alcohol drinks giant announced yesterday that not only had Rooney been signed up on a £1 million a year contract, but that his SKY TV outburst actually clinched the deal.

Barlscerg Super's chief executive Daniel Liebstein explained :

"While Mr Rooney's occasional bad news stories have always ensured he's been on our radar for the last number of years, it was his impressive performance on April 6th that finally persuaded us that he was just the man to promote our product.

"Vein bulging, anger fuelled rants at inanimate objects (whether they be a camera or a letter box or even a lamp post)is the typical behaviour our regular customers display after 3 or 4 cans of Super Lager.

"That is the image we have and that is the image we want to perpetuate".

So our Wayne fitted the bill perfectly.

His future is secure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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