Written by grimbo
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Saturday, 2 April 2011

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Today's Scottish Premier League fixture between Inverness Caley Thistle and Celtic has been postponed after an incident in a local hotel involving the Parkhead club.

Highland and Islands Police officers were called to the luxury Rocpool Reserve Hotel last night after a brawl broke out between hotel staff and the Celtic management team.

A guest at the exclusive establishment takes up the story :

"We were sitting down for dinner and we became aware of a heated discussion at the next table.

A small, ginger haired gentleman dressed in a green tracksuit was questioning why a bowl of potates irlandaises had been placed on the table without being requested.

'Are you having a go at us or what ?' he asked the waiter, 'do you know who I am ?'

When the puzzled waiter replied 'Fa' Min ?', the tracksuited individual became apoplectic with rage, jumped on the waiter and a mass brawl ensued.

The whole thing was quite unpalatable".

Celtic officials have declined to comment apart from saying that "Whatever happens, we will be appealing".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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