Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 31 March 2011

image for Nuns In Cleveland Are Making A "Habit" Out Of Cussing Due To The Cavalier's Dismal 15-59 Record
Three of the nuns from St. Pistachio on their way to see the Cleveland Cavaliers play. (Photo courtesy of the CPD).

CLEVELAND - Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the good sisters of St. Pistachio, who are the most dedicated basketball fans in the entire Catholic Church, are starting to get a little bit carried away with their support for the hometown NBA Cleveland Cavaliers.

The Human Resource Department of the Catholic Church's home office in the Vatican is reporting that they have received dozens of complaints just in the past month alone regarding a group of a dozen elderly nuns who have season tickets to the Cleveland Cavalier games.

A spokesperson for the Vatican Pasquale Trago de Vino said that he has a list with the names, addresses, and cell phone numbers of twelve (12) nuns from St. Pistachio who have nicknamed themselves "The Bingo Dozen."

De Vino verified that the "Bingo Dozen" attend every Cleveland Cavaliers home game and get so carried away in their frustration at the teams dismal 15-59 record that they have resorted to yelling out some of the vilest, vulgarest, curse words in the English language.

The Cavaliers spokesperson added that several times couples have had to leave the game in the first and second quarter due to the fact that they did not want their little impressionable children being subjected to some of the cussing coming from the mouths of these nuns.

Booker T. Dragoon director of Fan Relations with the Cavaliers stated that he has talked to the nuns in question on at least seven different occasions and they all say that they are sorry and to forgive them for their sins and that they will not do it again.

But the next game there they are out there once again hollering, yelling, screaming, and cussing up a storm as if they were Lake Erie iron ore barge seamen.

Mr. Dragoon has threatened the nuns by telling them that he will have them arrested if they continue with their cursing but the nuns merely laugh and say that they are acting in the name of the man upstairs and if they get arrested the Cleveland Cavaliers organization will be the laughing stock of the entire NBA.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Well truth be told, the Cleveland Cavaliers already are the laughing stock of the entire NBA but that is neither here nor there, and the fact of the matter is that these ladies of the black and white outfits need to stop this out-of-control habit (no pun intended) and stop it now.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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