Written by Mark Devore
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Monday, 28 March 2011

image for Capello to name another new captain
"I'm aving your missus Lamps!!"

With half of the victorious side that defeated the Welsh on Saturday sent back to their clubs boss Fabio Capello has had to think of a new captain for Tuesday nights match against Ghana.

John Terry's wife has an order requesting Tezza is not allowed to stay away for more than one night and Lamps needs to get back to Alex Jones lookalike Christine Bleakley.

Stuart Pearce has started a book and the current odds are:

1/2 Jack Wilshire
2/1 Joe Hart
3/1 Phil Neville
6/1 Fabio Capello
66/1 Manuel Almunia

After speaking with Capello, it's still not clear who will be captain.

He said "I want a man who will be a godfather on the pitch, and clean as Cliff Richard off it!"

Good luck there son, better get Gary Barlow in for a kick about!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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