Written by grimbo
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Friday, 25 March 2011

image for Artificial Clouds For World Cup

Scientists have proposed a radical innovation for World Cup 2022 in Qatar.

There are major concerns at the Western nations' players ability to cope with the 100 degree heat in the Gulf state, prompting some sources to suggest that the tournament should be played in winter.

This has now been discounted but the latest proposal, if adopted, is set to revlutionise the game.

Scientists at Qatar University are to build solar powered clouds - filled with helium gas - that will air condition the stadia and provide a protective layer against the intense heat.

Not wanting to be left behind, the English FA is also intending to introduce innovations for the campaign, assuming, of course, the country qualifies for 2022.

Chairman David Bernstein has asked Qatar University to look into the feasibility of them building an artificial goalkeeper who is guaranteed not to make any major blunders that will cost the team vital points.

Another innovation being looked into is the creation of a "Reasonable Expectiation Index" micro chip that would be fitted to all media persons covering the World Cup. This would ensure that, should any commentators or pundits even suggest that the England team could possibly reach the Final, never mind actually win it, an alarm signal would automatically go off and blow the person's brains up there and then.

That way, when the team went out at the quarter final stage again, there would be no mass lamentations or weeks of mourning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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