Written by grimbo
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Wednesday, 23 March 2011

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The long running conspiracy to make it as difficult as possible to enjoy watching football kicked into overdrive with the news that Falkirk FC had increased their prices to £15.50 this weekend.

This innovative idea ensured that many of the 4,000 plus crowd that turned up for the Falkirk-Dundee clash yesterday missed the first 20 minutes.

The measure would have been much less successful if the powers that be had simply increased the admission charge to £16 as fans could have handed over £21 and got £5 change back without causing any noticeable delays at the turnstiles.

So a fine degree of foresight there and a pat on the back richly deserved.

The 50p levy is just the latest in a series of proposals that have been introduced through the years to discourage people from going to games.

One of the most effective has been the insistence by the SFA that pitch inspections can only be carried out by Grade One officials.

The efficacy of this measure was best illustrated on February 2nd when the Inverness Caley-Dundee United evening match wasn't called off till 6pm by match referee Steven McLean. The lateness of the call off was due to the fact that the official had to make the 4 hour drive from Glasgow despite the availability of a Grade Two referee who could have made the call at lunchtime, hours before most of the travelling support would have started their journey.

Others that have ensured the maximum inconvenience for football fans have included allowing the police to call games off due to icy conditions in nearby car parks and the never to be forgotten scheduling of midweek games for teams who are based in diametrically
opposed corners of the country.

It's a given that the well isn't dry yet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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