Written by Reddon
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Sunday, 13 March 2011

image for Battle Of The Giants - Manchester's Finest To Slug It Out In Wembley Semi-Final
London Expects An Alien Invasion From Manchester

It's just been confirmed that Manchester giants, Manchester United and Manchester City are to slug it out in a head to head at Wembley in the FA Cup Semi-Final.

City confirmed the news after a 1-0 victory over Reading, courtesy of A Micah Richards header. United had already qualified following a 2-0 win over Arsenal in Saturday's tie.

It will be the first time both Manchester clubs will become involved in a match at Wembley, and feelings among fans are, predictably mixed.

"Most of their fans are London based anyway," whined City fan Liam Gaggler. "It's not right really. It'll be like a home game for the rags - and they'll only be a short underground ride away from their homes in St John's Wood - whereas all the proper Manchester football fans - who are all City fans anyway, will have to drag themselves back up the motorway after the match."

Which prompted an angry response from hardcore United fan, Jarbo from Salford:

"I don't know where they've been getting this 'United fans are all from London' nonsense - they've been gobbing off about it for years, and they know it isn't true. Most of our lads will have to make the same long trek home afterwards - you'll know the United contingent, we'll be the smiling ones, having a laugh like. And don't forget - we'll have to go back again for the final. At least the City mob will only have to make the one trip."

Motorway service stations on the Manchester-London route are expected to close down for the day, and plans are already afoot to segregate fans en route by rail and air. United fans will be dropped at Euston, because most already know the way to Wembley, and at Heathrow, while City fans will be diverted to Paddington Rail and Luton airport.

"Paddington's a bit closer to Wembley," a police spokesman explained. "So there's less chance of the City contingent getting confused. And they'll feel far more at home using Luton airport - they're not used to the big time, bless 'em."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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