Written by grimbo
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Monday, 14 March 2011

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Arsenal Wenger will be busy over the 2011 festive period following a statement from the Emirates Stadium today.

According to an announcement from the Gunners camp, the Frenchman will be appearing in pantomime at the end of the year.

Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis, frustrated at the club's continued inability to win a trophy, broke the surprise news a press conference this afternoon :

"I have taken the unprecedented step today of ordering the present manager, Arsene Wenger , to make his services available to the local repertory company in Islington this Christmas.

I feel that Mr Wenger would be eminently suited to the company's new version of Aladdin, which sees the lead character's hopes going up in a puff of smoke, much like our club's chances in 3 competitions recently.

Alternatively, he would be perfect for the lead role in Robinson Crusoe as all his plans were shipwrecked overnight.

If neither of these particular avenues were open to the manager's talents, he would be equally at home appearing in any of the classic pantomimes as the archetypal villain and Sir Alex as the hero. Arsene would feel particularly at home when he crept up towards Fergie and the audience shouted to old red nose 'He's behind you !'

As manager of the Arsenal, Arsene has of course always been behind feckin' Sir Alex Ferguson".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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