Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Topics: Wayne Rooney

Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for Wayne Rooney And the Highly Suspicious Thai Goldfish Breakfast Menu
Goldfish problem at Man U?

Wayne Rooney's friends have admitted they are worried about his new health regime because it includes eating Goldfish for breakfast.

They say that the star has taken tips from the Great Thai Sumo Wrestler Ito Muriyama who eats 20 raw goldfish a day. Wayne doesn't eat his goldfish raw, however, but he does like Colleen to fry them in the traditional Thai style with lemongrass, ginger and garlic.

The Pet Shop Owner in Manchester High Street was initially full of sympathy for Wayne and Colleen because they just didn't seem to be able to keep their goldfish alive. He said "I must have sold them over a thousand little fish since the start of the season. I just thought they were very unlucky with Goldfish."

But now the Pet Shop Owner knows what Wayne does with his goldfish he won't be selling him anymore. He also won't be selling Ashley cole anymore parrots. Ashley Cole has bought 35 parrots in the last month. He says they keep flying away. But the last time Ashley came to buy a parrot he had a shot gun with him.

The shop keeper immediately told him he hoped he wasn't shooting his parrots with that gun. Ashley assured him that this was definitely not the case, and seemed quite insulted. He said he would never shoot parrots. He loved parrots. He also said he only used his gun on very special occasions...like when his work experience boy refused to clean his boot. The shop keeper was happy with that. He sold him another 20 parrots.

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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