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Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Monty Signs Up For Gardeners World

Former Ryder Cup captain Colin Montgomerie has been unveiled as the new frontman for the flagship BBC programme, Gardeners World.

Monty is taking over from former presenter Toby Buckland, whose 2 year stint ended when he walked out in protest at the BBC's decision to cut the show's fertiliser budget by 30%.

Montgomerie was positively beaming when the news was announced :

"I am absolutely delighted to be given the opportunity to head up such an iconic programme as Gardeners World. I've always regarded myself as something of a British institution and I would put the programme firmly in the same category. And, of course, it goes without saying that Alan Titchmarsh has always been my hero.

What I've always liked about flowers and plants is that they don't move about when you're working outside, make a noise or otherwise distract you from the job in hand.

That's the sort of controlled environment I've always longed for".

If Montgomerie's new career proves to be as disastrous as his last golfing comeback, he will fittingly go down in the anals of history as a perennial failure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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