Wayne Rooney's contract details have been released by a secret source at Manchester United, and they are indeed outrageous.
Wayne Rooney has demanded that he be paid One million pounds a game, and he wants to be paid in Italian Lira because Colleen only goes shopping in Italian shops.
He has also demanded that he have a separate dressing room from all of his other team mates because he gets embarrassed when he can't remember any of their names.
Wayne has also requested the company of a dog at all times because the dog is his best friend and he doesn't want to be parted from him.
One last final demand was for a helicopter to take Wayne to and from games, and to the seaside at Sharm al Sheik when the weather gets sunny.
Alex Ferguson says none of this is outrageous because Wayne is a very special player who makes him lots of money...so Wayne could've asked for a palm tree to be planted in the middle of the football pitch at Old Trafford and no one would've minded. That's just how much they love Wayne. Hurrah.
By Katarina Frogpond.