Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Dorchester Exposure Sensation
Boris Poses After the Match

Non-League Football Club Dorchester Town had their player manager Ashley Vickers sent off in their game against Havant. The offence was unusual, if not unique. Ashley had brought a streaker, known as Boris, to the ground. However the referee considered this was a sending off offence and Ashley got his red card.

Dorchester had two more players sent off and lost 3-1 in front of 458 spectators, except the total was 457 before the end of the match.

Local Spoof reporter interviewed an irate Ashley Vickers who was shattered by the experience. 'I just wanted to get on with the game' he declared 'I was helping out the Stewards who thanked me for my help. Sending me off for that is barmy.'

The excitable referee, sent off two further Dorechester footballers for 'unseemly remarks'. One questioning his parentage and the other asserting he handle his organ in a self-satisfying way.

Despite repeated efforts our local stringer could not get a word out of the ref who had locked himself in a small room. But an Assistant ref, previously known as a Linesman, suggested that the reporter should complete an impossible task by impregnating his own body with his organ.

Several football fans thought the entertainment from 'Boris' was better than the game. 'That man should be in the the Cabinet' commented a the local MP 'at least he knows what he is doing.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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