Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

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Messi Had The Gunners In His Sights.

Arsenal boss, Arsene "I didn't see it" Wenger was this morning reported to be getting over a restless night of Messi nightmares after seeing the Gunners crash out of the Champions League courtesy of a 3-1 defeat at the Nou Camp.

A brace from Messi, and a splendid effort from Xavi saw the Catalan giants safely through to the last eight, in spite of an earlier scare wnen Busquets inexplicably nodded into his own net to make it 1-1 after Messi's opener.

Barca overcame a 1-2 first leg deficit to turn the tie around and emerge victorious with a 4-3 aggregate.

But Wenger was furious when Van Persie was dismissed for a second yellow card after kicking the ball away as he was flagged for offside. Some observers claimed that the time elapsed between the whistle sounding and Van Persie booting the ball was about one second.

Obviously having taken strategic selective sensory deprivation lessons from his manager - who never sees anything, unless it's to his advantage - Van Persie claimed not to have heard the whistle.

The real reason for Wenger's Messi nightmare appears more likely to have been generated by statistics which revealed that the Londoners enjoyed only 31% of possession, and didn't manage a single attempt on goal.

Wenger was allegedly very upset at Van Persie's red card, and apparently didn't think it was deserved. Regarding the first yellow card, when Van Persie hit a Barcelona player in the face (an automatic red card offence) Wenger apparently didn't see it.

"He doesn't have eyes in the back of his head," a disgruntled Arsenal fan grumbled as he left the stadium.

Nor in the front - according to some sources.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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