Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 7 March 2011

image for United Humiliated By Scousers - "Go On, Share It" Says Local Man. "See If I Care!"
Shuttlecock Shortly Before He Was Confined To Bed.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock completely lost the plot tonight as he cracked up following Liverpool's 3-1 victory over Manchester United on Sunday.

Shuttlecock was distressed to learn that stories about him being distraught about the result were being circulated on the internet.

Long suffering wife, Anne, put it down to the time of the month and the fact that Shuttlecock downed a full bottle of black absinthe following the game.

Allied with the fact that Shuttlecock is also renowned for being a bit cerebrally challenged.

"He'll get over it," Anne told Skoob Sports News. "He's just a bit emotional right now - which is why he's been headbutting the walls, trying to bite the cat, and chewing the internal doors. He's an idiot. Just ignore him."

Unfortunately we can't repeat here what Shuttlecock said - but it contained some of the most outrageously choice swearwords ever to be contained in a single exhalation of breath.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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