Walter Smith, having banished Sally McCoist to a golf course in Crieff, is reported to have discussed his present Rangers team's performances with true blue, once a Ger always a Ger, Sir Alex Ferguson.
Hothead Sally, always up for a joke and a laugh, was told to keep schtum, play golf, sink a few pints and reflect at his Crieff hotel's spa.
Sir Eck advised his old mate Walter to read his players the riot act. He added that it was time to make them sweat, until their bums were red raw, and let them know who is in charge.
"Ye can't be namby pamby, here, Walt, you pay them good money and for the glory of the Gers they need to perform. Think about that clown Rooney? Try to bluff me, would he, the lad will never be big enough. He's jest a kid and ye cannae kid a kidder, eh Walter?" said Sir Eck in his most authoritative voice.
Then Walter, laughing, asked how Man U got on against Liverpool earlier today. Sir Eck felt like a Dirk had been plunged in his chest.
"You trying to be fucking funny, Smith? Damn Dutchman, Kuyt, savaged ma' midfield. Nae Rio and we collapse up the middle. It's nae joke, so stop creasing yersel' there you bluenose!"
"Maybe I can book you and the wife a week at the spa in Crieff!" quipped Walter.