Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 6 March 2011

image for Skoob Sports News Banned From Reporting On Liverpool v United
Me Mickey Mouser! Me Love Loonypool! Alright Matttttte!

That's it - we're banned. We can't say another word.

There have been allegations in the past that SSN has referred to those cuddly, good natured, naturally witty Liverpudlian folks as "bin dippers" "granny stabbers" Mickey Mousers" and sour pussed "Kopouts" who don't like it when things don't all go their way.

SSN emphatically denies these allegations.

One SSN reporter, who quite remarkably was once the intended victim of a mugging in a back alley behind Rembrandt Street, which - before they demolished it - was off Walton Breck Road, and who had a mate who was once left for dead in Stanley Park following a particularly vicious mugging, and who stood toe to toe at both Lime Street and Sandhills train stations - surprisingly bears no malice, and absolutely refutes suggestions that he is in any way biased in favour of Manchester United.

Skoob1999 told SSN's correspondent:

"To say that I'm biased against Liverpool is just nonsense. I once had a mate who was a Scouser, so these allegations regarding pro Manchester United bias are clearly fabricated. I'm like Gary Neville, me, I am. I can take 'em or leave 'em. But to say I'm biased is ridiculous. I'm no more biased than Sir Alex was when he arrived at Old Trafford and related that his ambition was to "knock Liverpool off their ****ing perch." That's just terrible. Are all these cuddly naturally witty Scousers paranoid or what?"

Nobody really knows.

Does seem a bit odd though.

Skoob1999 did remark in closing, that he admired Kenny Dalglish as a player - even though he did have a big fat arse.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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