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Sunday, 6 March 2011

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England batsman and occasional off spinner Kevin Pietersen is to undergo a major operation at the end of the World Cup, which is currently taking place in India and Sri Lanka.

Originally Pietersen was scheduled to have a hernia operation, but the plans had to be changed in light of the Coalition Government's tightening up of the visa and passport system.

The cricketer, who hails from Natal, qualifies to play for England thanks to his English mother, but new criteria being put in place by May 2011 would cast serious doubts on his eligibility.

The former test captain will be entering the exclusive HCL Hospital in North London to undergo pioneering new surgery to get the last remnants of his South Africanness eradicated. The hope is that, after a series of blood transfusions from "impeccable sources", the England and Wales Cricketing Board will be able to argue that their former star man is "of pure Anglo Saxon stock".

Arguing the same case for Monty Panesar may, however, prove a bit more problematic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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