Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Pompey & Plymouth Blunt Steel City Boys

"Hipray! Hipray! Hipray!" The cheers rang out from the two great naval dockyards after a double victory over the Blades and the Owls.

In a fixture list twist, struggling Sheffield Utd travelled to a resurgent Portsmouth while Plymouth, in financial circumstances so similar to those in which Pompey recently found themselves, headed up north to the other steel city club, Wednesday.

Both encounters ended in triumph for the Royal Navy centres.

The unpaid players of Plymouth Argylle were 2-0 up by half time, through N'Gala and Mason, while Pompey, who these days are being paid regularly, were one up by the interval thanks to a goal by Herman Hreidarsson - his first since, ooh, yonks ago.

Wednesday launched a comeback against the travelling Pilgrims after a triple substitution and with 30 minutes to go Coke pulled one back. Only for Mason to get his second minutes later and Bolasie to add a fourth on 81.

Johnson gave the Hillsborough faithful something to shout about two minutes later, but the Pilgrims were home and hosed.

There was no change to the score in the second half at Fratton Park, ensuring Pompey's umpteenth clean sheet in a row.

Cmdr Horatio Grenville, Officer in Charge of Supporting Football in Royal Naval Dockyard Cities, said: "Jolly good. Jolly good.

"Gives us RN chaps bragging rights over the Supporting Football in Steel Cities johnnies for a while. We're getting together tonight to splice the mainbrace.

"Should be a good time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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