Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Mourinho stab-in-the-back attempt nothing new
A waiter once tried getting Jose with an oyster opener

Galicia, Spain - Anybody who'd ever worked for Roman Abramovich would know the feeling.

After all, the man branded by Boavista coach Jaime Pacheco in 2007 as 'sick and mentally retarded' has to be a favorite of footie wackjobs.

However last Friday's stabbing attempt at La Coruna Airport saw Jose Mourinho caught on the hop.

The Real Madrid manager was targetted by a dagger-wielding masked man as he signed autographs ahead of a flight.

He shrugged it off as 'just another nutter' as a security guard took a 1.5inch hit in his place.

The incident has eerie echoes of a 2005 London restaurant dinner when a drunken waiter almost speared Mourinho with an oyster opening knife.

The proprietor Sir Terence Con-Artist hushed up the incident with a hefty private wedge for Jose as well as an all-expenses paid family trip to an exotic Maldives resort.

Ronaldo's girlfriend Irina Shaykh is pushing 29.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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