Written by grimbo
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Thursday, 3 March 2011

image for Dundee United FC In Turmoil

Scottish Premier League outfit Dundee United have been thrown into chaos after chairman Steven Thomson suspended all 16 of the first team squad that were on duty against Inverness Caledonian Thistle on Tuesday.

A furious chairman told the press "I had no alternative but to take this decisive action as the 2-0 victory was totally unacceptable and I have told all the players that.

Because of the precarious financial position we find ourselves in, I issued a specific instruction that we were not to win anymore games until the end of the season. We cannot afford to pay any more winning bonuses between now and May.

We have drawn 7 out of the last 11 games and that was fine by me.

What is the point of our groundsman deliberately flooding the pitch and getting the last 5 home games postponed, if the squad go and play well enough to beat the opposition ?

Unless I get a firm guarantee that a win is not an option in our next game with Aberdeen, then the Under 19's will be donning the first team strip on Monday".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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