Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for Sir Alex Ferguson Blames 'Administrative Error' For Loss Against Chelsea
Manchester United bankers draft just out of shot...

Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, blamed a simple 'administrative error' for his teams unexpected 2-1 loss against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge today.

Sir Alex told us "it was not about quality of play, or our lads performance overall, it was a simple human error. We had put a substantial payment in the post yesterday, and addressed it to Martin Atkinson, as we do before all our games, but due to a back room error the envelope was not posted."

Atkinson, referee for the high tension premiership game, was clearly seen 'favoring' Chelsea in several key decisions.

Sir Alex was adamant that the result would have been different, if the payment had been handled efficiently in the box.

"We had a new secretary who seemed more concerned with the ball control of some of our top flight players, and so her mind wasn't on the game," he continued "it is a shame that it comes down to this, but that's football."

"It's not fair, and I'll be sure to keep moaning about it in the papers for a while, I mean you can see what happens when your tactics work, just look at the recent Rooney elbowing incident. We got away with that scott free, and that's how much a simple delivery through the post can make in a big game like this!"

The unidentified staff member, who forgot to post the envelope, has been removed from her post in a free transfer to the dole queue.

United top brass have ensured that their meeting with Liverpool on March 6th will go off hitch free, as the payment has already been sent via UPS, and they have proof of delivery.

Liverpool are expected to lose 3-1 with at least one sending off, a penalty against them and several bookings.

Which of United's players will erroneously trip over non-existent feet and fall to the ground clutching their faces, whilst not actually being near any opposing players is to be decided during training this week.

But all decisions but one will go United's way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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