Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for Chelsea frustration boils over as one of their star players goes amok and shoots student!
John Terry saves one of his team-mates from becoming an "a-moker joker"!

Chelsea's latest results, the non-stop rumours about their manager, Ancelloti and Abramovich's frustration at not being able to win anything has completely boiled over.

At Chelsea's training ground oneoftheir England stars grabbed an air rifle and threatened to march out, go amok and shoot every Arsenal and Man Utd fan he could find.

Luckily a sports science student (who shall remain nameless) who just happened to be massaging John Terry's injured knee-caps (whinger) saw the player steaming towards the gate with a rifle.

The student chased after him and screamed, "Don't do it, think of Cheryl (oops!);" he then turned around and shot the idiot in the leg, OUCH!!

John Terry and the rest of his team mates then rushed out, rugby-tackled him, told him what a fucking idiot he was and hoped no paparazzi'z were watching.

Bad luck, a passing paparazzi News of the World reporter saw the whole thing and now the player has been nicknamed "The Bird" (remember him?).

The player will perform tomorrow against Man Utd but has been put on prozac, but also has vowed if Chelsea lose to Man U he'll do a Cantona and "kung fu" the bastards.

Modern day footballers not only have stress adding up their millions they are prone to normal human behaviour too?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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