Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 1 March 2011

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Prepared defence.

Chelsea defenders have been receiving special training in unarmed combat in preparation for tonight's clash with Manchester Utd.

Skipper John Terry and his colleagues are determined not to be caught out by any surprise attacks launched on them by the United strikers, following evidence of the Reds' new tactics against Wigan on Saturday.

England striker Wayne Rooney launched a full-elbow attack on Wigan midfielder James McCarthy during their 4-0 victory.

A Chelsea spokesman told us: "We've been going through all the old mail here at Stamford Bridge, but we can't find any notification of the change in the laws of the game.

"But we have to assume that as a top professional, Wayne was adhering to the law - one that we were unaware of - and that the FA now sanctions unarmed assault.

"So we've given the lads - especially midfield and defence - a crash course in karate. One of London's top Black Belt tenth dans (or whatever) has been with them after training every day and we're confident that the new rules shouldn't give them a problem.

"Ashley has been reminded that we're still dealing in unarmed combat only. No small arms."

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