Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 26 February 2011

image for Pompey Win Again - Promotion Certain Says Superfan
Mr Seaport - not at the Hard.

Following Portsmouth's third win in a week, superfan Jake Seaport is convinced that the team has what it takes to win promotion back to the Premier League.

Pompey won 2-0 at Ipswich today, following successes against Crystal Palace and Barnsley.

"Here we go, here we go, here we go!" said Mr Seaport, aged 33, of Waterlooville.

"You see, I'm not one to let a couple of results go to my head. OK. OK. I might have got a little down a few weeks ago when we couldn't buy a win - but the tablets and whisky were an accident.

"And I suppose you could say it was a little over-the-top of me to get so excited earlier in the season - putting a month's salary on a promotion bet... well.

"But hey - we're unbeaten in four. And we've won our last three without conceding a goal. We're thirteenth in the league and only ten points behind the play-off places. Our next two games are at home.

"No-one can stop Steve Cotterill's blue army!

"Blue Army! Blue Army!"

Mr Seaport was last seen dancing around in the mud at the Hard under Portsmouth Harbour station.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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