Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 25 February 2011

Manchester United's Bulgarian £30 million signing from Tottenham, Dimitar Berbatov, has reportedly told friends that his white sock wearing days are over.

According to sources, certain malevolent elements at White Hart Lane had told Berbatov that white socks were pretty cool for a night out.

It seems he was relayed such misleading information by a malicious element who realised that he would soon be moving on to a big club, and were thus determined to undermine his credibility.

It transpired that Berba (as his fans call him) pretty quickly realised that going out to exclusive nightclubs wearing a bespoke suit and hand made Italian shoes hardly epitomised "cool" when his socks were white, three quid for six pairs down Shepherd's Bush market.

"He didn't know," a friend told Skoob Sports News. "How would he? He's Bulgarian for God's sake!"

It is a widely held belief that Manchester United skipper (as was) Gary Neville pulled Berbatov and Wayne Rooney over to one side following a Carrington training session, and told the multi million pound strike force that white socks are just chavvy and shite.

The Manchester United pair are believed to have taken Gary Neville's advice, although some sources say that Rooney countered:

"Aaalright Gazzza - but, like, what's that daft bumfluff beard all about then, mate?"

"Yes" said Berbatov (allegedly) "What is with the silly bumfluff beard and tache Gary? And that. Innit."

"Look," Neville told the pair. "It's vital to the club and the fans that you wear proper socks. Otherwise, we might as well pack it all in and go home."

At which point, the strike pair did pack it in and go home.

An astonished Gary Neville, told us from Manchester United's Carrington training ground: "I can't believe that they've just packed it all in and gone home..."

Former United skipper and one time tractor technician, Roy Keane allegedly said that anybody who doesn't wear tasteful socks is an absolute disgrace and should be battered to the point of insensibility with a tree branch. With knots in it.

More sock related insanity as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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